What No One Tells You About Living With Anxiety

 

  • It’s not an excuse to get out of going places!

When I was a child, my mother used to have to give me notice before we went anywhere, and that doesn’t mean just a trip to the doctors or dentist. If we were visiting family, going to the grocery store, or even doing something really fun, like spending the day at an amusement park or beach, she needed to give me a heads up well in advance. Even as a child, who wanted to go to all these fun places, I needed time to process or I’d have a panic attack. It was so bad that, most of the time, I ended up making myself physically sick with worry. It made my childhood really tough, because just the thought of going over to a friend’s house was traumatizing. So, please, stop saying “You’re using your anxiety to get out of going”, because we really would like to go… sometimes we just can’t.

  • You can be fine one minute, and distraught the next.

I was at a movie theater with my husband, and a scene came on that triggered a childhood memory of an event when I was extremely anxious. Just recalling a memory from years prior made me so anxious that I had to stop focusing on the movie and concentrate on breathing slowly & willing myself not to be sick! It happened so fast that I was completely caught off guard, and it ruined my mood for the rest of the day. You don’t always know when it’s going to happen, and that makes even daily outings a challenge.

  • Having people downplay the seriousness of anxiety really hurts.

I overheard coworkers chatting about how people can use “anything” nowadays to get out of doing tasks at work, and how they themselves would use anxiety from now on, even though they don’t suffer with it, as an excuse to not have to do certain jobs as well. I was so hurt by this because it’s not something I can just shut off. I know this comment wasn’t directed at me, but when people downplay the seriousness of a disorder that you personally suffer with, it’s going to be taken personally. There’s a huge difference being physically unable to preform a task, and being too lazy to preform a task. Having anxiety doesn’t mean we’re lazy.

  • The feeling that you’re holding your spouse back is a constant worry.

I’m very lucky to have a supportive, caring, loving husband, who understands that I’m not always going to be able to do certain things, but that doesn’t mean I don’t constantly feel guilty about not being anxiety-free. If I didn’t suffer from anxiety, we’d do a lot more spontaneous outings, travel further from home, go to large events with big crowds, and enjoy things we don’t normally enjoy. I feel guilty a lot of the time that I’m not giving my husband the opportunities to experience everything he wants from life. He wants to spend time with me, and therefore he misses out on a lot. He never complains, but I still wish I could give him more.

  • Opening up takes time… sometimes LOTS of it.

Don’t get offended if we’ve been friends for years and you still don’t know about my childhood, my fears, or even the color of my kitchen curtains! It takes a lot for anxiety sufferers to open up about anything personal. Everyone has their own degree of comfort. Just because you’ve never been inside my house, been personally invited out to lunch/dinner by me or been given even the smallest hint to the contents of of my mind doesn’t mean we’re not close. Suffers of anxiety are very particular about the people they keep close, so just calling you a friend to begin with means a lot more than you probably realize.

  • Having control is extremely comforting.

I find that not always knowing when I am going to have an anxiety attack makes me crave control, even over little things. For example, when driving around with my husband, it’s nice to know that I can have control over what music we listen to. If I’m able to decide what we’re listening to, it can be something that I know calms me down, and therefore I’m taking control of putting my mind, body & spirit at ease, which will hopefully result in a less panicked driving experience. Giving that control to someone, even if it’s as simple as allowing them to choose the music, is a very easy solution to a potentially bad outing.

  • If you think we’re going to be talking on the phone- forget it. 

Ring! Ring! [Insert heart attack here] Haha. When did this become such an issue? We talk daily in person, text on occasion… why not talk on the phone? I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out a way to describe the amount of loathing I feel when my phone rings, or just why I dread it so much, and I can’t. I just hate it, and a lot of people who have anxiety do, too… so we’re not ignoring you! Text us and we’ll get back to you shortly.

  • Your anxiety makes mine 110% worse!

A friend of mine got a text message, looked at her phone and said sadly, “Oh, no!” I repeatedly asked what was going on while she read her message, but got the held up “wait a second” finger, that translates to “I am going to stand here and read this text message for 10 minutes while you’re struggling to breathe, because obviously someone just died a horrific death and I’m being notified via text!” In sheer panic-heart beating so hard it hurts-having trouble seeing straight anxiety, waiting for you to spill what that text message is about is killing us! Put us out of our misery!! If you’re going to pull that stunt, something serious better be going on because a friends replied, “The Dunkin Donuts on Main Street is closing!” does NOT qualify as a “wait a second” finger moment.

  • You’re not alone.

Nowadays there are support groups for everything. Finding a supportive group of people has been one of the greatest discoveries for me, an extreme anxiety sufferer, because now I don’t have to explain why I’m feeling the way I do… these groups just understand. Having to not justify why you’re feeling the way you do is so cathartic. These communities will listen to you, help you, guide you & make sure you know you’re not alone. If you’re having issues coping with your anxiety, just need a friendly ear to vent to, or want to make friends with likeminded people, I’d highly suggest researching groups for anxiety suffers. One that I’m apart of is via Facebook & I’ve met so many great people through it! I know that if I need any advice, that someone is there for me. That is a resource more people need to be aware of.

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EEK! 16 Sweeter Sides of Horror Villains!

Pinhead– Concerned that his friends aren’t living life to the fullest, and that they aren’t experiencing all the wonderful things life has to offer, Pinhead starts a club for individuals open to trying new things & adventures.

Freddy Krueger– Wants to make sure everyone gets a full 8 hours of rest. Works at the sleep clinic, and stays by the bedsides of patients to hum lullabies.

Michael Myers– Started the local Neighborhood Watch program to keep his townsfolk safe, especially on creepy holidays like Halloween.

Annabelle– Collects and donates toys to the children’s hospital.

Norman Bates– Volunteers at the senior center, and enjoys helping out with their theater group. He mostly aids in costume design…

Buffalo Bill– Has a fondness for skincare and wicker work . Owns a spa that focuses on skin hydration, where he also sells wicker baskets made by local artisans. Precious, Bill’s poodle & companion, is seen frequently lounging by the lotion rack in the lobby.

Hannibal Lecter– Runs the soup kitchen. He will give you a second helping if you can name what’s in the “Mystery Meat” soup dish.

Leprechaun– Soles for Souls founder, Leprechaun, makes fashionable footware for the homeless. You’ll never see a more shiny pair of loafers.

Regan MacNeil– Psychiatrist for children who suffer from unexplained traumas. Especially great with the young teens, who can sometimes make your head spin.

Pennywise– Organizer of the town’s summer carnival. He loves the kids!! You can find him handing out balloons by the lake &  overseeing the handmade water boat races. He claims, regardless of the material they’re made from, that they all float.

Sam– Owner of Incognito, the party supply store. Favors Halloween, and makes many of the costumes that adorn the front window display, including the eco-friendly burlap ones. Come on in, grab a lollipop, and find your next disguise.

Chucky– A real good guy, Chucky makes his living working with criminals recently released from police custody, vowing to teach them how to live a crime-free life. Word on the street is he’s engaged to Tiff, who is a local hair & makeup artist.

The Creeper– A bit of a hermit, The Creeper is only seen every 23 years for 23 days.  During those 23 days, The Creeper will take anything off your hands that you may no longer need. He also sells homemade comforters & writes a DIY blog on decorating the interior of your home.

JigsawDo you want to play a game? Just say no. There is no game that our Jigsaw can’t win! He has an Etsy shop where he sells homemade games for couples and groups to play together… winner takes all.

Jason– As a camp counselor, Jason vows to keep all his campers safe. He is head of the Junior Safety League, that teaches kids how to survive in extreme situations. (Situations could include, but are not limited to, drowning, beheading, suffocation or simply getting cut by a sharp knife.)
Leatherface– Gardener. Will get your hedges trimmed super fast with his high powered chainsaw! He is currently following a strict facial skincare regime, suggested by Buffalo Bill, and plans to write a book about his experiences with facial deformities and feeling comfortable in his own skin.

 

 

 

How Many Things Can I Find Offensive? A WORKING List.

  • When you’re speaking to someone, and another person just JOINS the conversation.

  

    Can you say rude? This is easily one of my biggest pet peeves, and it’s so impolite, even if what the topic is about isn’t a private matter. For those who are about to respond, “If you’re speaking in a public place, though, then it’s a public conversation.”… feel free to go play in traffic.

    • You’re inside your home, yet you can hear someone’s music crystal clear from inside their own home, or their vehicle.

      

      This makes me want to rip my hair out! My neighbor, who lives downstairs, is constantly blasting her Kelly Clarkson album. I get it, you love her more than anyone else… but “since you’ve been gone” I finally have peace… stay gone! As for those who are waiting in my parking lot to pick up someone, your “Shake that ass to the floor, drop yo’ pants, show me dem’ titties” shit is not impressing anyone… turn that shit down.

      • Diet crazes.

        

        Beachbody, Shakeology, 21 Day Fix, South Beach Diet, Atkins, The Zone, Caveman Diet, Juice Fasts… Regardless of what it is, and how many I’ve tried, I am sick of hearing about everyone else doing them and having wonderful success. I get it, the first few hundred people- I am happy for, you did it! I am over it now, though, and my big ass hates you.

        • Dry, cracked lips.

          

          Waking up in the morning to find your mouth completely dried out, and you go to yawn- *SPLIT* your mouth just tore in half! The agony. You can’t even enjoy your orange juice now without your lips feeling like you just kissed Satan’s tender touch hole. What a horrible way to start the day. Keep them babies hydrated!

          • When someone is telling you how to do your job… when THEY are NEW!

            

            Okay, so, I am all for people trying to help each other out, but when I’ve worked at my job for years I am going to preform said job the way I was trained to do it. You have to realize that surely not everyone trains the same, and my methods may be a tad different from yours based on whoever/whomever trained YOU, but if they yield the same results, who cares? If you’ve just started your position and think you know more about my job than I do, think again… your opinions are ill-mannered and not needed or respected.

            • Paper cuts.

              

              Similar to dry, cracked lips in that it hurts like HELL, these little devils are the worst kind of torture, especially in an office related job. I sit at a computer all day and basically push those papers… so getting a paper cut is the absolute worst.

              • Burning your tongue!

                

                Impatient actions get us all at times, but when you can’t wait those couple of minutes for your pizza to cool down, and you go in for what promises to be the tastiest thing you’ve ever experienced in your life only to be gifted with a mouth melting reality of sadness… well, perhaps next time you’ll wait, fatty. Haha!

                • When people don’t know how to pick up their feet when they walk, or chew with their mouths closed.

                  

                  These are so insignificant, I know, but we all have things that irritate us to no end. PICK UP YOUR CROCS AND SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

                  • Waiting in the Drive-Thru forever.

                    

                    Key words: FAST FOOD. There is nothing fast about waiting twenty minutes for you to ultimately mess up my order, forcing you to remake it. Pick up the pace & work on your quality.

                    • Using the public restroom and there’s piss all over the seat!

                      

                      I didn’t wake up this morning having it in my head that I’d be required to touch anyone else’s bodily fluids… I don’t have that kind of job, and I wouldn’t ever agree to such a thing anyway. When I have to go, I have to go, and I don’t want to have to waste my time cleaning up your piddle while I am bursting at the seams. Clean up after yourself, pig!

                      • People who live off gov’t aid, yet constantly have their hair & nails done and are better dressed than I am.

                        

                        I get it… sometimes, we all need a little help. Gov’t aid is not for personal spending habits, though, and I am sick of busting my ass 40 hours+ every week to have a portion of my money come out of my hard earned check and have it go to “aid” these peoples beauty habits. My nails are chipped, my hair is dull and my clothes are frayed, but I earn what I have and that money should be mine if it’s not being used properly anyway.

                        • SPOILERS!

                          

                          You loved that new movie? The season finale of your show was crazy? SPOILER ALERT– I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR IT! Not everyone had the luxury of being able to stay up all hours of the night to catch these shows/movies, so don’t ruin it for everyone else!

                          • FAKE politeness.

                            

                            I know you don’t like me. I know you talk shit about me behind my back. Woman/Man up and be real! If you don’t like me, I could care less, so don’t pretend you’re Princess Diana, and tell me like it fucking IS. Love, Me.

                            • Never ending stories.

                              

                              Your weekend plans fascinate me, they really do, but don’t talk my ear off for a half hour about how you’re going to get your colon cleansed or how you’re getting your chin waxed. I don’t need to know.

                              • When the boss doesn’t let you leave on time or when everyone else leaves.

                                

                                Elvis already left the building? Everyone else can leave 5 minutes early, but you are forced to stay? No. See ya later!

                                • OLD PEOPLE and their denture cream!

                                  

                                  People age… they lose their teeth… they get dentures. That’s all well and good. What drives me insane is when they overuse their denture cream! They smack it around their mouths, it pools in the corners of their lips, and makes horrible noises when they speak. Just kill me now.

                                  • When people wear band t-shirts for “fashion” and NOT because they like the band.

                                    

                                    When I compliment someones t-shirt, for it represents a band that I love, and they have no clue who the band is, they simply bought the shirt because it looked cool or because everyone else was wearing it… [INSERT MAJOR FLIP OUT HERE]

                                    • That diarrhea exists…

                                      

                                      LOL, I just had to add this. Everybody poops, okay? In all seriousness, if we’re putting stuff in our bodies that isn’t good for us, wouldn’t a better solution to that problem be to add a button that could like… Compress all the gross stuff into a tiny cube (like a trash compressor) that we could depose of cleanly and without issue? Instead, the creator of our bodies thought it’d be a real hoot to watch us run to the bathroom with our cheeks squeezed together, praying for a miracle, all the while having excruciating belly pains, and then to have lava erupt from our balloon knots? That’s just uncalled for, dude.

                                      *I WILL FOREVER BE ADDING TO THIS LIST. CHECK BACK FOR ADDITIONS, AND ADD YOUR OWN IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!*